Mindful Emotions

In the last post we discussed about being mindful in our daily activities of life. But a question now comes? Can we be mindful when expressing our emotions? Yes we can be mindful in witnessing and expressing our emotions. Let’s see how?  

The Right time is 'NOW'

Usually when we are angry or feel like crying what will we do? We express the emotions and then move on to the next work. That moment we think that we should get angry or express the anger in this way, the next time. We decide. That’s good. But are we able to follow it. Next time when we get angry immediately we react in the old manner and then feel later for reacting that way. Why are we not able to change the way we react? Are our emotions more powerful than us? Do we think we don’t have any control over our emotions? Can it be true? Never. Emotions cannot rule us. We create the emotions and we can’t let our creation to rule us. So what is the solution?  We might think about suppressing the emotions. Is it the solution? No. When this does not help we think about denying our emotions. Is this a solution? All these may give temporary relief. But again when you are placed in the same situation we react in the same manner.

The permanent solution is accepting our emotion and transcending it. But we are used condemning our emotions. Anger is bad, jealously is bad, fear is bad, love is good etc etc. what we condemn it grows big. So first step is accepting our emotions. Accepting is possible when we are mindful. Because mindfulness is nothing but being aware of what is happening without being judgmental. 

So now let’s begin the exercise.

When ever you are facing some intense emotion move aside and select a place where you can spend some time with you, without any disturbance. Sit comfortable and focus your attention on your breathe. Feel the air entering your nose, enjoy the sensation it creates, feel the movement of air passing to your lungs, how the stomach inflates and deflates.  After few breathes notice the feeling. Name the feeling. What is it?(anger or sadness or jealously etc). Don’t condemn the emotions. Don’t label the emotion as bad or good. Once you divide the emotion as bad or good your own self gets divided. The notion of being mindful is awareness without judging. So don’t judge your emotions. It’s yours. Nothing in you is bad or good. It is as it is and we should accept it. Understand how the emotion came about. What circumstances contribute to it? Don’t resists or struggle with your emotions. The more your struggle the more it will deceive you. 

Just be an observer of your emotions.  Just imagine you sitting in a train and seeing the trees. Similarly just you observe your emotions without being carried away by it.  investigate the emotion. How intense are your feelings? Is there any change in your breathe pattern? Is there any change in your body? Is there any muscle tension? How is your face reaction? How does your face look like? What thoughts are running in your mind? Allow the thoughts to come in and go out. You don’t be carried away the thoughts and emotions. Be an observer. Whenever you again go to the old trap of judging the thoughts or emotions, don’t feel bad. Observe that also and slowly bring your attention to breathing.

Once you observe your own emotions, you will realize that you are not your emotions. Once you fully accept your emotions, understand it you will realize the totality of the emotion.  As you observe your thoughts and accept it totally you will understand that thoughts are just words and without emotions attached to it they don’t have any meaning. We start recognizing them as just mere thoughts. As you do so you will realize you can’t control the situations but you can decide the way you react.

So when you watch and accept your emotions with full awareness your automatic reactions to any situations will change into response, and there is a lot of difference between reaction and response. When we react we are in control of our emotions and when we respond the emotions are under our control.

“Words are just mere combination of alphabets when there is love in our heart and each and every letter looks like a profanity when there is hatred in the heart. So it is not the word which creates intense emotions, but who said that to whom and the meaning we attach to the words"